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PANDERING PATROL--The Minneapolis School Board voted on Tuesday, February 8, 2005 to close 14 schools, ending a year-long soap opera in which spineless district officials delayed their decision until after the November 2004 school board elections to avoid reprisals from voters. In the end, they chose to close many schools in low-income areas--while at the same time changing their mind about closing a couple of small schools in wealthy parts of town (possibly to satisfy past or future campaign contributors?).

In any event, the school closings were necessary because the district has been losing thousands of students to charter schools, private schools, and other school districts through open enrollment. There also has been a decline in births in recent years. The state funds education primarily on a per-pupil basis, so every student the district loses cuts their annual funding by thousands of dollars.

2 Small Schools Spared...for the Wealthy

The two schools that were spared are Wenonah, near Lake Nokomis, and Waite Park, which is in the wealthiest part of NE Minneapolis, a couple of blocks from the city limits. Waite Park did have a legitimate gripe about being in a newer facility, but they should be doing a better job marketing themselves to parents from nearby Columbia Heights and St. Anthony, who could bring in open-enrollment money (which would be a big change for the Minneapolis schools, which mainly lose students through open enrollment to suburban schools). But the fact remains that these two schools are located in wealthy areas of town, and the closing schools are in the poorer areas of town and it really seems that the only people the district gives a damn about are the wealthy people. At the same time, they're surprised that poor black parents eagerly pull their kids out of the Minneapolis schools whenever they have the chance. Maybe the Minneapolis Schools ought to focus on improving every students' experience, not just the rich kids'.

Coming Up: More Firings Based on Seniority, Not Merit

Now that the school closing decision has been made, the district must prepare to pass out pink slips this spring. Unfortunately, those firings will probably be based entirely on seniority, and young, talented teachers will be shown the door while a bunch of lazy, geriatric bums will be allowed to continue to draw a paycheck. On the plus side, we probably won't be seeing much realignment this coming year, because most teachers don't want to deal with that--and they've probably already ditched their extra licenses. Even so, if you're not yet convinced that merit pay is necessary, just walk into a school next year and when you see the unbelievably high concentration of inept morons in the Minneapolis schools, you'll change your mind pretty fast.--Queen Lizi, Senior Editor

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Minneapolis School Closings Chart

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